Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Brains & Biceps

Brains & Biceps

A Weekly Column By Laura Kline, BSN-RN and future NPC Figure Competitor

Friends, Family and Everyone In Between

Let me take you back about 8 years in my life. I was 17 years old and messing up every way I could. My friends were not the best bunch; they consisted of mostly high school drop outs and druggies/alcoholics. I was skipping school and putting myself into the worst situations possible. Needless to say I was a hot mess! When I made the decision to stop all this nonsense I also made the decision to take every negative person out of my life that I could, and well that was just about everyone! This was extremely difficult at first (especially being the age I was) but as each day went by and with each pound I lost I felt like I made the best decision for myself. Not only was I shedding weight but I was releasing every bad memory I had with these people! Something that made it easier was that my mother and I moved about 20 miles away from where we used to live which built another barrier of separation. Sure I cried and felt lost for a long time but if I hadnt of separated myself and let go of what I thought was my whole world then one can only imagine where I would be now..

Having a negative relationship with anyone in your life is never a good thing. It doesnt matter if they are a super close friend, a sibling, or somebody that you see everyday at work, it is having an effect on you not only mentally but physically! Stress leads to increased cortisol levels which in turn leads to saddle bags and love handles, this is certainly not something anyone wants. So why is it so hard to remove these people from our lives? Because we have known them for so long? Because we have to see them everyday? Sure, but what is worse, distancing yourself from somebody that brings you down in life in multiple aspects or keeping the negativity close and spending days stressed out over someone elses drama? Sounds like an easy choice to me!

I know that as friends and family we are expected to be accepting and we are supposed to be there as support but there needs to be a line, an actual and understood boundary that shouldnt be crossed. No one should hurt the others feelings for instance, making each other cry should not be a common occurrence, ever! There should be no malicious or jealous feelings towards the other person when you are in any relationship. Sounds like common sense but we all know somebody that we dont quite get because they are always so angry or never have or will warm up to you. I work with somebody that doesnt like me and hasnt since I started my position more than a year ago! Despite my attempts to try and reach a middle ground nothing ever made this person nice to me. So I gave up and just discontinued communication. I am not going to waste anymore energy than I already have which was probably too much to begin with!

Take some time to reevaluate those who you allow to be closest to you in your life. Do they bring you happiness? Are they supportive and encouraging of the changes you are making in your life? What about what they do, do you support them in their decisions? Are they good decisions that they are making? I let people in my life that were making all of the wrong decisions, that were influencing me to join them in their lives not as a friend but as someone they could use for money, for a ride and for a place to stay sometimes. Then when I made a decision to change, they resisted it and immediately turned against me. All of a sudden I was this person that thought they were better than everyone else because I wanted something bigger and better in my life. I wanted peace, I wanted health, I wanted to know where I was going in my life and if that made me better than them so be it. You need to live your life for yourself, for your own health; mentally and physically speaking. You CAN do it and it may be the most lonely time in your life but without that time by yourself away from the negative you will never know what life really has to offer!!

From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life. -Anais Nin

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