Self Realization by Jaime Filer

Self Realization

Ever read your old journals or blog posts and have an A-Ha moment? Reflect on what you've written and say, "whoa..." I've never done it before, but while visiting with
some good friends this weekend away from home, I decided to read my most recent blog on
this site again. I was reading about how I chose to compete again because I wanted to
lose weight; but here's the funny thing: The Me reading it two weeks later has come to a different conclusion than the me writing it two weeks ago! I said before that I chose to compete because I knew I needed to lose some extra weight, and didn't know what other incentive would kick my butt in gear other than the "threat" of another show.

Allow me to back track a little. My group of teammates, as per our coaches, have a
specific post-competition regimen/protocol that we all follow. It's called "reverse
dieting", and essentially, you stick to your contest prep macros for the week (or
two) after the show, then GRADUALLY take your calories up, a couple grams of carbs, fat
or protein at a time. Now, as you might know from my other blog posts, I didn't do
anything even remotely similar. I ate my face off for 7 weeks. Literally. Eating. My.
Face. Off. Thankfully, despite all my gastronomic overindulgences, I only put on 5lbs of rebound weight (*thanks genetics and lucky stars*). But for me, it was too much, and I picked the next show I was going to do because I was scared that if I didn't, the 5lbs would turn into 10, which would turn into 15... 20...

But here I am, 14 weeks post-show, and I have yet to stick to my prescribed diet for more than a week. And... Wait... Get ready for it... Still up the same 5lbs. Yes. The exact same 5lbs. Despite nights of lying in my bed surrounded by empty pints of Ben & Jerry's and empty protein bar wrappers, and going out with my friends and family to eat, I have hit my new set point/ceiling. So now, my thoughts turn to the upcoming show. If I wanted to prep because I was scared of gaining too much post contest weight, but I'm only up 5lbs in 3.5 months, then do I really have any reason to worry? More importantly, how do I find the motivation to do the show, when I've already overcome my fear of gaining weight?

Kelly Bigliazzi Interview

Photo Credits:
Photos 1-2: JSK Photography
Photo 3: Dan Ray
Photos 4-5 RX Muscle


Kelly Bigliazzi had a real good 2012 including winning her class at Jr. Nationals and showing definite improvement. An injury will keep her off stage this year and she says it's not for sure she will be on stage again, but she has already proven she has the work ethic that if she wants it, she can do it.

Q: Can you talk about how you got started in the gym?
A: I was twenty years old. I passed out while I was driving and went to the hospital. I found out my blood sugar was in the 40's. I was about two hundred pounds. I was an athlete in high school and a hundred and thirty pounds through high school. I ended up finding out I was hypoglycemic, borderline diabetic, thyroid issues and I.D.S. The doctor said i needed to change my ways and I met my now husband, got me in the gym and I started doing my own research on how to eat correctly. I did kind of like an Atkins but a healthy way. I got the weight off and did my first show in 2007.

Q: What made you decide to compete?
A: A friend who I didn't know at the time came up to me in the gym and said "you need to do a bodybuilding competition." She had won her NGA pro card so I took her advice and did my own research and prepped myself for my first show.

Q: When you started to add muscle, it still isn't accepted by everyone, did any family or friends react negative?
A: Yeah, I had some family members who when they saw me, it was kind of a shock. Some were supportive and some would make their comments. I just blow everything off and move on with my day.

Q: Some girls I interview say that after they compete that first time that it becomes addicting, was that the case with you?
A: Yeah, I would say so. It is the whole adrenaline rush and the accomplishment. I think the first show was probably the most rewarding because I had come so far from two hundred pounds and dieted down to one hundred and thirty-five pounds. It was an adrenaline rush. I didn't win but it was rewarding and I had to do it again.

Q: This year you won your class at Jr. Nationals, granted it wasn't a huge class, but that is a big show, how did it feel to win?
A: I was more than excited. It was a huge accomplishment. You don't know who is gonna show up. The only thing you can do is compete with yourself. That's how I go into every show. I don't care who is gonna be there, I am there for myself and even if I don't win a trophy, it is an accomplishment getting there. I was happy to get first in my weight class.

Q: Does it upset you to see so few bodybuilders turn out for a show like that?
A: Absolutely! It is disheartening. It is what it is. I think there is more that goes into it. At Jr. Nationals they don't offer a pro card and I think that has a lot to do with the turn-out.

Q: After that was USA's, you took eighth in a big class, and I thought you actually looked better at USA's, would you agree?
A: Absolutely! I was the same weight. After Jr. Nationals, about three days later I got into a motorcycle wreck, and got chewed out by my coach for even being on the motorcycle. I wasn't able to work my legs for five weeks after Jr. Nationals. Even my cardio was limited. The weird thing was I came in at the same weight but was much leaner than I was at Jr. Nationals.

Q: Was that a goal or did it just happen?
A: It happened. At Jr. Nationals judges said I should do USA's. I discussed it with my husband, I'm not gonna jump into something and not discuss it with him, he is very involved in everything I do. We made the decision to do it and see how I do.

Q: Do you know when you will compete next?
A: I more than likely will be having hip surgery in February cause of the motorcycle wreck. I ended up with a fracture in my hip joint and a labral tear in the rear part of my hip joint. I need to get that fixed because it is hindering my training sessions and my cardio sessions. So I will get it repaired and hope for the best, it is not a guarantee it will fix anything. So we are looking at a year before I can even get back to training normally.

Q: Is it hard to take that time off?
A: Absolutely! It is hard, but it is what it is. There is nothing I can do about it. I could sit and mope and be mad, but it wont fix my hip. I have to make the best of what I have and know I have my husband and God behind me. I just hope for the best and that I can get back into competing. We will find out after I am fully recovered. I want to.

Q: Assuming you compete again, is a pro card the goal or is it more if it happens it happens?
A: If it happens it happens. I'm not like "I have to have my IFBB pro card." I look at competing as an accomplishment, it is fun, something I never dreamed I would do. If I get it, so be it, if not, that is just how things work out.

Q: At the gym do you get the stares and attention?
A: Yeah, it just happened tonight. I get dirty looks, stares, glares, people point. I look and smile and go on my way or just ignore them. I appreciate the people who come up instead of pointing and starring and introduce themselves. I will introduce myself and throw it out to tell me if they ever need help with anything. I don't want them to think I am an alien and cant speak. People will be that way and some wont like me just cause of how I look. You cant do anything about it.

Q: In public, are you more of a cover up and avoid attention type person or show it off?
A: I show it off. I wear tank-tops when I am in-season haha. Right now, not really, I go to the gym in sweats and a hoodie and stay covered up in the winter. I like to keep my joints warm, my muscles warm. When I am lean in the summer I wear a tank-top.

Q: If you could spend a day training with someone you have never trained with, who would it be?
A: Dennis Wolf. I would have to say Dennis Wolf.

Q: Anyone you want to thank?
A: My husband. I am sure you have heard this a thousand times, spouses have to deal with a lot of our mess, our dieting, mood swings and all that goes along with competing. He is very supportive and lifts himself. My coach P.J. Braun works with him to but he doesn't compete. I have to thank my husband. He has been there from day one. We have had our rough times but we always work together and get over it.

Roni Davis Interview

Roni Davis is a perfect example of the kind of people I get the most joy out of interviewing. A woman with an amazing story of weight loss to the stage. What led her to the stage is a great story and the end result, how she looked on stage is equally great. Very excited to present this interview with Roni.

Q: Can you talk about how you got started in the gym?
A: I started because I was really fat. I spent a lot of years caring for my daughter because she has some health issues and it kind of consumed me. One day I looked and said "oh my God I am fat, this is not o.k.". I started walking to try and get some weight off. I stopped eating enough and the weight dropped off very very quickly. It was fast and sloppy and I still didn't like how I looked. I worked too hard and sacrificed too much to still not be happy with how I am. I thought lifting and putting on muscle would help so I started doing that. I wanted to make sure I did it properly so I saw results. I enlisted the help of an on-line trainer and it went from there.

Q: What made you want to compete?
A: Because I was struggling with food and eating what I was supposed to eat and when I was supposed toe at it. I stupidly thought that by committing to a competition it would keep me focused and on track. It did not work haha. My first competition I did not place as well as I would have liked. But I am stubborn and don't like to lose so I wanted to go back again and do it right. That is how it started, now I do it cause I love it.

Q: Were you nervous the first time on stage?
A: Yes, but only because I knew I wasn't ready. I didn't feel like I gave it everything I could have and didn't feel ready and confident enough. I wasn't ready.The last time, it was a completely different story.

Q: A lot of girls I interview say after competing it becomes an addiction, was that the case for you?
A: No! It is not an addiction at all. I could never get on stage again and I would survive. It is something I love doing but I don't need to do it to be able to be happy.

Q: At the Jay Cutler Classic you took third in your class and first in Masters. In that situation, after saying you don't like to lose, are you more happy about the first place or more "what do I have to do to win my class"?
A: It was "what do I have to do to win Open?" I was more happy with the third in Open than the in in masters because the Open class was bigger, the Open class was all ages. There were a lot of girls and a lot of them were younger than me.

Q: From photos, I was impressed with your stage presence, how confident you looked, were you as confident as it looked?
A: I was. I went on there and felt amazing because I knew that with my coaches and the faith I have in them that I was bringing what I should be bringing. I knew my coaches were proud of me and were sitting and cheering me on and proud of me. I felt confident with my entire package and give total credit to my coaches for that. It would not have happened without them.

Q: When you are that confident it has a big effect, helps you hit your poses better and everything, did that play a part in how you looked?
A: Absolutely! It made a huge difference. One of the big things they take into consideration is not just how you look but your confidence and posing. It helped a lot. When I look at pictures, I remember seeing girls backstage that I thought looked better than me but on stage I noticed differences in posing that may have helped me.

Q: Do you know when you want to compete next?
A: I wanna do so many haha. I would like Battle on the Beach in March, the Cutler in May or Pittsburgh before that and a couple National shows like Masters Nationals. Those are the ones I want to do, it is about what I can afford to do.

Q: For the next time, where do you want to be better?
A: There are three areas. Shoulders, mid-section and booty. I need more shoulders, I need more booty and I need a tighter mid-section. Those are the big three things for me.

Q: When you trying to improve a specific part, how much extra work do you put into it?
A: Shoulders and booty get hit twice a week. I go fairly light on quads because they are a bit over-powering.

Q: Is a pro card a goal or more if it happens it happens?
A: A little bit of both. It depends on the day. For me it is very much a goal and would like to achieve. For me it is like, I have no business having one. I am a nobody from a small town, there is not even a gym in my town. I have no one near me for support or help or to keep me focused. Some people have training partners, I have none of that, I don't even have a gym, I use free-weights in my basement. I am a single mom. I really want to prove to people, don't let anything stop you, don't use excuses, go after what you want. A pro card will not make my life any better, it is something I would like to do to inspire me. So if it happens it happens, but it is a goal.

Q: When you are in public, do people notice or ask questions?
A: No! When I started I would have people say I look thin and need to put weight on. Most people tell me they don't noticed a difference.

Q: If you could spend a day training with a person you never trained with, who would it be?
A: That's a tough one. I would say Erin Stern. She is incredible.

Q: Anyone you want to thank?
A: My coaches without a doubt. I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without them, I have made so many changes. Not just my physique, but in the way I look at life and the things I aspire to be. I am very grateful to be a part of Team Bombshell.

The Right and Wrong Reasons To Do A Show: by Jaime Filer

The right and wrong reasons to do a show

In my last blog post, I wrote about the reality of the post-competition black whole
vortex that completely swallows your sanity and turns you into a self conscious hollow heap of empty Ben and Jerry pints and Mrs. Field's cookie boxes. That is NOT an exaggeration. The post comp phase is the one where, if you don't take your life by the reigns mentally and physically, you'll be reduced to competitor rubble. If you don't have a plan in place for after your show BEFORE YOU EVEN DO YOUR SHOW, you've already set yourself up for trouble.

It sounds weird; shouldn't you be taking one day at a time? Yes! Absolutely. Focus on the present. But the reality is that competitors are so one-track minded. We're anal, Type-A perfectionists. If things don't go our way, if we can't eat on schedule, if we don't know when we're training, we freak. At least, the ones who know what they're doing freak. So too when it comes to the diet after the show, if you don't have some sort of "Metabolism-Repairing-Reverse-Diet" meal plan in place, then once you go off
your diet the Saturday night of the show, you'll go off your diet for a whiiiiiiile.

Take me for example: Though I had my reverse diet plan in place, following it was a horse of a different color. I thought, "I've dieted for 25 weeks. If I take a week to eat whatever I want THEN go on the reverse diet plan, how much damage can I really do?" HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!! No!!! Little did I know, that 8 weeks later, with my belly swollen from ice cream, and my mouth caked in Pop-Tart frosting, my plan to "Reverse
diet" wasn't YET happening.

Enter the title of this blog: The Right and Wrong Reasons to do a show. I'm about to use both, as they both apply to me. Now remember, these are purely subjective - it's just my opinion. The "wrong" reason is because you want/need to lose weight. You have
10, 20, 30lbs to lose, so you figure getting on stage in a bikini/banana hammock will be that catalyst for you to FINALLY get the diet under control. If you have 20lbs to lose just for fun, enter a transformation competition. Go on a site, get your 12 week plan, and win a bunch of supplements in 3 months. There's nothing wrong with that! The "Right" reason to compete: You have the eye of the tiger. You're passionate
about the sport. You have the discipline and will power to do it. You have a
"Never-Say-Die" attitude. You live and breathe bodybuilding. You have something
to prove.

If we're speaking honestly and candidly, I chose the wrong reason. I had 5 (!!! Not even 10 or 20!!!!) pounds to lose, but the only way I knew I was going to get myself back on the wagon, was by picking another date. No transformation contest. That wasn't good enough. Only the "threat" of the stage would be enough to kick my ass into shape. So I bought my coach again, and started the whole pre-contest one more time. Now, before I'm accused of being a hypocrite, I'd like to add something. Somewhere around 2 weeks ago (3 weeks into my diet), my mindset changed. I got the fire back. The drive. The passion. The fact that I placed friggin LAST at my show despite losing 30lbs hit me square in the face, and I forgot about how much I had to lose this time. I forgot about everything except how much the feeling of placing last sucks, and how badly I want to become a pro female bodybuilder. The "Wrong" reason became the "Right" reason.

14/11 weeks out

Jenna Fox Interview

After taking a hiatus while searching for a new camp, Jenna Fox returned to the cage late this year with two straight wins, one by submission and one by verbal submission. The wins bring her amateur record to a perfect 8-0 and shows the very promising future that she has in the sport.

Q: Can you talk about how you got started training for the sport?
A: One of my friends, Logan Hickerson, was starting to get into fighting. At the time I was a senior in high school and was kind of a workout junkie. He wanted me to come try out the cardio portion of the class. I went and tried it and sparred a little bit and was hooked instantly. I only trained a week before I decided I wanted to fight and I was obsessed from there.

Q: How long did you actually train before fighting?
A: I trained for about seven months. When I started I was still in school and doing track. My training was off and on when I started but once I got to summer time I was doing two-a-days and training as much as possible.

Q: That first fight, as you are about to go out, where you nervous at all?
A: I was excited. Once I stepped in the cage I got a little nervous. A lot of people say that once they get in the cage they are like "what am I doing here?", and that's how I felt. I started to shake a little bit and was like "oh no, I am actually doing this", but I just took a couple deep breaths and relaxed and I was fine.

Q: Some people don't like the thought of their daughter getting punched in the face, where your parents o.k. with you fighting?
A: Not at first. Not at all. Actually I moved out before my first fight because they were so against it. I was extremely bull-headed. But then, after a couple of fights they realized I knew what I was doing and have been extremely supportive since then.

Q: Your last win was a verbal submission over Christina Skinner, how satisfied were you with your performance?
A: I was happy. I improved a little bit. I did a few things I wish I hadn't but I had improved upon my fight before that and that is always what I work for. I was satisfied.

Q: That made two straight submissions, is that something you go in looking for or it just presents itself and you take it?
A: I kind try and think that if I end up in the situation, I will go for it. I ended up on the ground so once I got there I was looking for that armbar. I try not to focus on one ending because usually once you get in there it ends a completely different way.

Q: Before the October fight you had taken some time off, was there a reason?
A: The team I was with, the coach I had I wasn't really happy with anymore. It got to the point where I didn't even wanna go to practice and that is when I knew I needed to take a step back and fix what I was doing. I needed to fix something and find a new team. It took longer than I wanted to find that team but I got there in the end.

Q: So I assume you want to be more active this year?
A: Absolutely! I don't want to take any more year long breaks if I can do that.

Q: Your record is 8-0, do you expect with that record that it may be harder to get opponents?
A: It depends. Around here, local opponents, probably yes. I know there is lots and lots more girls if I can get on a promotion that will pay girls to travel. There are plenty who are willing to take the fight but all are not prepared to fight someone as experienced. A lot of people around here don't realize that timing matters.

Q: If you would critique yourself, where do you feel you need the most improvement?
A: I would say my movement, my footwork. I have a tendency to go towards someone and keep punching and not move and take more shots than I need to. I have been working on that a lot, moving while punching.

Q: Have you given any thought as to when you want to turn pro?
A: I have thought about it a little. I haven't put to strict of a time-line on myself cause I want to go pro when it feels right. I would be really happy if this is my last year as an amateur but if I get to the end of the year and I don't feel I am ready then it can wait.

Q: Three years from now where do you see yourself in the sport?
A: I would like to be a bantamweight champion. That would be ideal.

Q: You just got to go cover Invicta, what was that experience like for you?
A: That was really cool. It was very new since I am not a reporter. It was cool to see those fights in person. I learned a lot watching people in my weight class. I tried to pay special attention to see what I need to do to get there.

Q: After doing it, is writing and covering fights something you want to do more of?
A: Yeah, I think that would be something I would like to do on the side here and there. I enjoy writing and MMA is everything so it is another way to stay involved.

Q: What was the highlight of it for you?
A: Meeting "Big" John McCarthy was pretty cool. He was super nice. You watch someone on t.v. for so long and you don't know what to expect when you meet them but he was super nice. I was a little star struck.

Q: With Invicta and now women in the UFC, how excited are you as a female fighter with what is happening right now?
A: It is amazing. Not that long ago Dana White said no way women would get in and then Ronda Rousey explodes on the scene and he changed his mind really quick. I think there is a lot of girls who will end up giving Ronda a run for her money and he will eat his words even more.

Q: Anyone you want to thank?
A: My team Central Illinois Combat Club, I have learned so much since I started going there. MY friends and family, they are really supportive. My sponsors who have been there for me from the start, they are really great.

IFBB Pro Angela Skeels Interview

Photo Credits:
Photo 2: Ron Avidan
Photos 3-5: Muscular Deveopment

Needless to say, 2012 was a great year for Angela Skeels. She ended the year by winning her IFBB pro card at Nationals. Not only did she win her pro card, not only did she win her class, but she won the overall, a tremendous achievement considering how many great competitors were on that stage. Angela is also someone I see making a big impact on the pro stage as the package she brought to Nationals is definitely that of a pro competitor.

Q: Can you talk about how you got started in the gym?
A: I have always been in sports ever since I was young so I have always been in the weight room. Up until college I learned a little more in detail about how weightlifting is beneficial and built my knowledge from there. After college I continued to be in the gym and learn more and more about weightlifting and fell in love with it.

Q: What made you decide to compete?
A: I had always wanted to. I remember looking at the fitness magazines and always saying "this girl is on the cover, there is no reason I cant be on the cover." The girls on the covers were competitors and I always thought I could do that.

Q: A lot of girls I interview say after competing the first time that it becomes addicting, was that the case with you?
A: Absolutely! Generally you know when you compete if you can do another one or not. I have grown up playing guitar and drums in a band with my dad from a young age so I also have a passion for the stage. Being able to do this fitness thing goes hand in hand and lets me be on stage and do something I love. It was perfect for me.

Q: At USA's you obviously didn't place where you would like, did you get down on yourself at all?
A: You know what? I didn't and I try not to get down. I know I did what I was supposed to do. I have specific goals and I fulfilled them and worked my hardest. The thing I love about this sport is you can always change things, always do things differently. It was disappointing that I didn't place but I did everything I was supposed to do in preparation and was not down on myself. The things I did that work I take for the next one and the things that don't work I tweak so it becomes to my benefit.

Q: The improvements you made by Nationals were incredible but where do you feel you were better?
A: I was better in Atlanta. For me I knew it was something I wanted to do so I just continued to find that drive and passion and get up every day with that motivation to complete the goals and I never lost sight of that and never let anybody outside affect my goals. I gave absolutely everything.

Q: Everyone hopes to win, but going in to Nationals did you feel it was a realistic possibility that this was the show you could get that pro card?
A: I knew in my heart it was. I just knew it. You have a feeling and I knew deep down. I tried to keep calm and cool but something inside me was saying this was the time.

Q: When you first realized you were now a pro, do you remember what went through your head?
A: Oh man, I just remember everything went really really fast. I'm sure I probably said a bad word haha. I remember from the moment I got off stage everyone was tugging at me saying "you need to go here, you need to go there, somebody wants to talk to you over here." It took a moment to sink it. Everyone wanted interviews and things and now I look at the interviews and say "what a ding-dong" because I sounded so ridiculous cause my mind was racing so fast. It was an incredible feeling, I was so happy and excited. I was sad my family couldn't be there, that was the main thing, I was sad my parents couldn't be there to see that.

Q: For you, does the pro card carry extra responsibility as to how you portray yourself in the industry?
A: Oh absolutely! I definitely want to carry myself positively. It is something I wanted so bad and I continue to say that I want to be a good role model. I want to set a good example and leave a mark where ever I am at. I want to make my coach proud and my family proud.

Q: Is there anyone you are excited to be on stage with?
A: I get to share it with all my fellow Oddo's Angels sisters and my favorite bikini pros. Amanda Latona is one of them. I've met her a couple times, that is exciting.

Q: Have you decided when to make the pro debut?
A: Probably in March. We will discuss that and make a final decision soon.

Q: Where do you need to improve for the pro stage?
A: Definitely continue to tone up. There is so much room for improvement. I see things in myself that I want to tone up more or soften a bit. That is what I love, keep working hard and it is amazing how it all comes together. Legs as always is something I want to trim up more.

Q: When you are in the gym do you get any of the attention or stares?
A: Oh yeah, it happens, it happens all the time. The gym I am in is a very small gym and they know what I am doing and am there to work and not mess around haha. I do from time to time get discouraged but that will happen anywhere so what can you do?

Q: If you could spend a day training with any person you have never trained with, who would it be?
A: Probably Ronnie Coleman. That would be cool.

Q: Anyone you want to thank?
A: I thank my parents for being at my side and believing in me. My coach Kim Oddo, he continues to push and motivate me. I am so proud to be an Oddo's Angel. All my Oddo's sisters for their support, we have such a fun time together. It makes it more fun. My make-up artist Susie Lynn, she is always by my side and at my shows. She holds it down for me and gets my mind right. My girlfriends for always being supportive. Also everyone who voted for me in your awards, it was so nice to see and be recognized.

Maggie Corso Interview

Photo Credits:
Photos 1-3: Pavel Ythjall
Photos 4-5: RX Muscle


Maggie Corso wasted little time in her competing career in qualifying for Nationals, to compete with the best amateur competitors around. In fact, before competing with the NPC, she won her pro card for another organization in her very first show. I think we can expect to see Maggie continue to improve and make a bigger and bigger name for herself in the very near future.

Q: Can you talk about how you got started in the gym?
A: I started really young, in high school. I remember being in some wacky aerobics class. They would separate the girls from the guys. I couldn't jump around like everyone else so the gym teacher sent me over to the weight room where I immediately headed to anything that had anything to do with legs. As a small child I loved the look of gymnasts and their muscularity and I wanted to achieve that. I started pretty young but without a clue, so as I grew older I continued to train and then met my husband who is an avid trainer and in fantastic shape and he was able to help me in the gym. I got in pretty good shape by the time I was twenty-six. Then life changed, new job, new house, big commute, took time off, and had children.

Q: When you got back into it, what led you towards competing?
A: Well I started training again in 2010. I was about to turn forty and I decided "you know what? I don't like the way I look, my body is a mess." I started doing things at home and then I joined a gym not long after cause I needed to get back. I was at the gym with a friend of mine who had been a trainer in the past and told her the goals I had, looking at Oxygen Magazine and seeing Erin Stern on the cover and told her I wanted to look like that and felt with my past that I had a muscle base to build from and should be able to get there if I worked hard enough. She told me I was to old, that my joints would not support the weight I would need, I was a mom and didn't have the time, that these girls were young and spent hours in the gym and it wasn't my life. I said "you know what? Not for me, we are not gonna train together, I am gonna do my own thing." A year later I stepped on stage.

Q: A lot of people I interview say it becomes addicting after the first show, was that the case for you?
A: In a way, yes. I don't know that it was addicting, I definitely like the time where I am focused on what I want to do with my body. I am always in a state of non-satisfaction. I can look at my physique and see what looks good but then I tear it down because I know where I want to improve. The day I step on stage, there is nothing left to improve. You are standing there and have come to the conclusion of your training. I like that, I like having an end and meeting that end and going beyond that. When I walk off stage I have new things to improve on. But on that day I am proud of the look I have.

Q: Let's start with Garden State, you took fifth in your class and first in Novice, are you more happy with the first or do you first think about how to improve the fifth?
A: It wasn't about placing. I had never done NPC before. It was my second show. In my first show I went into a natural bodybuilding organization. It was a different stage presentation. I took first and won a pro card. When I first walked off stage I said "how can I be a pro, it is my first show", I didn't feel I warranted that kind of rank and wondered how to improve myself. So I went to the NPC where I imagined would be stiffer competition and style. So when I stepped on that stage it was more exploratory. I watched the posing while I stood in line and did what they did. I was surprised with my placing because I wasn't happy with my condition or tan. I walked away confused wondering what they were thinking haha. It encouraged me to try again. It showed I had a place with the NPC.

Q: Then you took second at Muscle Beach. You looked much more confident, is that an accurate statement?
A: Yes, very accurate. I had the mentality that I wanted first or second so I could qualify for Nationals, I wanted that National experience, seeing what it was like. It is such a difference from a local show. I was more confident. Condition-wise, it wasn't my best, not as lean, but it was enough. It was the only show where I went in thinking I had to nail it.

Q: For the National stage, were you any more nervous?
A: Yeah I was. It was so big and new. I had no idea what to expect. It was a "wow" factor. The girls are big, at least ten pounds over me. I knew I wasn't gonna place well and it got in my head. You have a strict time where you have to be off in time. Things got in my head and I chalked it to a learning experience. I look forward to July and Team Universe and we will see how I do. I will do my best.

Q: Where do you need to improve?
A: My glute/ham tie in, more back development and more capped shoulders.

Q: So July is next for you?
A: Definitely in that show. The organization I have a pro card in has a show in April that I am kicking around in my head if I have the ability and can swing it travel wise.

Q: In the gym, do you get the attention or stares from people?
A: Yeah definitely. I train at home now but when we travel we go to a gym and pick one that is hardcore to avoid that. But when a woman trains at that level people look. There is a place for it but it is not when you are trying to train.

Q: If you could spend a day training with any person you have never trained with, who is it?
A: Erin Stern. She kicked me off wanting this physique. She trains like an athlete and I would love to do drills and sprints with her. That would be exciting.

Q: Anyone you want to thank?
A: My husband for supporting me. Without him I couldn't have done the shows. My family for picking up the slack and watching the kids and dogs. It is hard to be successful without that support. Pauline Nordin for being a good influence and sounding board. She always sets me right. Jennifer Robinson, an IFBB pro. She came out of nowhere when I had questions about the second NPC show and she appeared and had all these answers and was a friend, she was amazing. She helped with posing and it showed in that second show.