The Trials and Tribulations of My First Figure Show by Lindsey McFerran

The O' Shit Experience Part 1

Hello fellow blog readers,
It's me again, Lindsey, and this time, like I promised in my last blog, I am going to tell you a tale about my first Figure show experience. This will be especially valuable to those first time competitors or you VETERANS can relate with me about your experiences, or just laugh your ass off at mine.

So here it goes. My first show, where to begin. I guess I will start in the beginning. So, like maybe a 4 days before the actual show. That is when the workouts stop and basically all you do is the girly things (something that is not really my thing), like get your nails done, work on your posing, and get everything ready for the BIG day. Because, let me tell you, it is a BIG DAY. I could hardly sleep in those last 4 days, waking up in the middle of the night because I was so nervous and excited at the same time.

But on another note, my co-workers loved me in the week leading up to the show. Why you ask? Because I was ALLOWED TO EAT CARBOHYDRATES, so my sparkling personality was beginning to come back. After going extremely low carb for about 16 weeks, that 1/4 cup of oats tasted like a LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN.

So fast forward to about 2 days before the show, this is when the dreaded DEHYDRATION BEGINS. My trainer cut my water to about 1/2 gallon a day. I went from drinking as much H2O as I wanted to about 1/2 gallon and let me tell you, I felt like I was on an episode of Survivor, but the only good thing about this was that I was not peeing every 5 minutes.LOL

So now I am carbed up and water depleted, I am ready to hit the stage. Not just yet, there is one more thing I need, fellow bloggers can you guess it? YES, I NEED COLOR, a fancy name for being tan. And not just "I came back from Hawaii on vacation tan." I need to be BLACK so that I can be seen on stage under all those bright lights. I will tell you one thing I learned from my first show, YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO TAN. So to all you first time competitors out there, keep this little fact in mind.

OK, now I am tan, but not tan enough as I come to realize. But it is the morning of the show and about 2 hours till pre-judging will take place. So I get in the Casino where the show was being held (and no, I was not able to hit the slot machines before I hit the stage if any of you were wondering). I go backstage to start getting ready and what do I see? A SEA OF WOMEN. Well for someone who is into girls, if you know what I mean, this is a dream come true. So what is the first thing I do, work on my pimp game of course. Just kidding folks, well half kidding. No, actually I was trying to scope the scene, take everything in. Since it was my first show, I was like a little kid the first time parents take them to Disney Land. I was hanging out backstage with all the competitors and getting ready for my debut on the stage.

20 minutes before my class was set to hit the stage, I started pumping up, applying the bikini bites, which prevents me from having a thong on stage, because it keeps the suit from riding up and applied to my oil.

So now I am tan, pumped up, glued into my suit and lubed up, I am ready to rock n rolls. What happens next >>>> Guess you will have to stay tuned.

Keep training hard and your eye on the prize. AYO AYO AYO ladies and Gentleman.